“The domestic violence is real. It’s real. How I lived to suffer it and go through it over and over again I do not understand”
This was Tonto Dike speaking about her marriage which just packed up recently.
When we talk about domestic violence, sometimes it could seem like folklore, like some tales by moonlight until you find yourself in it and you begin to wonder ‘is this really happening to me’.
I bet no one saw that one coming, I mean it’s Tonto Dike! The delectable Tonto Dike, whose pictures with husband graced covers of magazines and newspapers. How could she be
There has been many questions of “why did you leave” “why did you stay”.
Well, at least Tonto agrees with us on one thing: “A lot of people have blamed me. A lot of people have said a lot of things. I have read a lot of things. I stayed back in my marriage not because of my child but because I believe you cannot be abused or you cannot leave a child where there is abuse and you claim you are doing it for your child. No” She posits.
So the excuse of some women staying in an abused union for the sake of their child is even more detrimental than anything else, because now it’s not just you the woman that is being damaged psychologically but the kids too.
So why then did Tonto stayed? Hear her, “I stayed because I was doing it for myself. I stayed because I loved my husband with all of my heart. I stayed because he had begged me to stay a couple of times. I stayed because I didn’t just want to give up. I didn’t want to give up on the marriage just like that. People change”.
Well, like Tonto Dike, a lot of women have stayed in a domestic violence relationship for various reasons, reasons best known to them. Suffice it to say that some women are presently in a very deadly domestic violence ravaged marriage/relationship/union and they are staying put for one reason or the other. It is always for one reason or the other.
Yes, marriages, relationships experience hiccups from time to time, none is ever bed of roses, there are bound to be arguments and counter arguments in a marriage and we are not advising any woman to jump at the next train out of her marriage at any slightest challenge. But like we always say here at Unbroken Chords, no relationship or marriage is worth your life! It is better to be a living divorcee than a deceased ‘Mrs’ through domestic violence. A lot of women weren’t as lucky as Tonto to live to tell their story. No reason is good enough for any woman to remain in a domestic violence union.