CHRIS BAMIDELE: Making A Relationship Work Is A Two Way Street

CHRIS BAMIDELE: Making A Relationship Work Is A Two Way Street

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When two meet, like each other and get to fall inlove, the most natural thing is them wanting to be together and possibly be together forever. But sometimes, certain things stand in the way of a smooth and healthy relationship and most times, relationships are threatened by those things.

Human beings are not perfect, and since we all are humans, perfection is not a thing we can achieve at a personal level. Sometimes in relationships, we have desires and these desires lead to temptations and these temptations eventually might ruin even the strongest relationship.

So, let’s check out these few desires and temptations in relationship and see how we all can avoid giving in to them.

Putting little/no effort into your relationship: This is a big temptation. Sometimes, we get so used to our partner because we have been together for a long time, and then we feel so comfortable that we gradually stop putting effort into our relationship. Being comfortable with our partner is a great thing, but it can also be dangerous as they may feel we no longer care about them, and we might just leave a gap for someone else to come in and gradually fill. So, no matter how long you’ve been together, you still have to put effort into your relationship to achieve whatever you set out to achieve in the beginning.

 Prioritising your friends instead of your partner: We all want attention, and it could be hard if you suddenly found yourself in this relationship and you don’t have much time as you used to have with your friends. If you are in in long lasting relationship and you would rather spend time with your friends rather than your partner, he/she might get jealous.

While I am not suggesting you discard your friends because of your relationship, I am saying, if you are in loving relationship going somewhere with someone, spend more time with them rather than your friends. I am so sure those friends will not think twice before leaving you once they fall in love and probably get married. You can still spend time with your friends; but I think you just need to discuss it with your partner and rearrange your schedule.

Taking your partner’s efforts for granted: Relationships are rarely balanced, one person might love more than the other, and the person might appear needy. But I tell you, it is not exactly being needy, they might just be trying to show how much they want you in their life. And because you seem to have some advantage financially, socially or status wise doesn’t mean you should walk over them just because you can. If you always feel someone is too low compared to you, and you feel like you are doing them a favour, maybe you don’t have any business dating them in the first place.

I know some girlfriends whose boyfriends have taken for granted just because they cook and do their boyfriends’ laundry; this is wrong. Some boyfriends pick their girlfriends to and from work and suddenly the girls start thinking it’s a duty the boyfriends must not miss. If your girlfriend washes your clothes, and/or makes you breakfast every single morning, let them know that their hard work is highly appreciated. Treat your partner with respect and don’t take their efforts for granted.

  Desires to flirt with others and cheat on your partner: One of the worst temptations that ruin your relationships is the desire flirt with others while in a committed relationship. Flirting itself is social, but it could sometimes be sexual. It involves verbal or written communication as well as body language by one person to another, and it might be interpreted as suggesting an interest in a deeper relationship with the other person.

If flirting is not controlled, it can lead to you cheating on your partner. If you are in a long lasting relationship and you meet another man/woman, everything can become so complicated, especially when this new person seem more fun to be with. But you should remember that there was a time your current partner was fun too if not more than this new guy/babe. So, the only way to maintain your relationship strong is to refuse to give into that dangerous temptation, and work on your relationship to bring the initial fun back, if you really love your partner.

  Constant lying: When you flirt too much with members of the opposite sex, and it somehow results in a fling; you will surely lie about it in the event that he/she suspects and asks questions. Also, when you do something that you know your boyfriend/girlfriend wouldn’t approve of, it can be tempting to lie to them about it.

So, how do you not lie in your relationship? Simple, just don’t do those things that will make you tell those lies. And if you make an honest mistake, and you really love each other, you should never be afraid to tell the truth, no matter how hard it can be. Remember, if you always tell the truth in your relationship, there will be no reason to remember anything.

6. Snapping At Your Partner

Life is stressful, going to work is stressful; infact doing anything at all is stressful. But screaming at your partner to let out your emotions when you are in a bad mood will only leave your partner hurt and can possibly lead to numerous fights. If you are tempted to vent; scream into a pillow, or rant on your twitter TL, it may sound funny, but those things actually work. Never blame your partner for problems that he/she didn’t cause. Never let them bear the brunt of what someone else or something else has done to you. It’s one of the best ways to keep your relationship strong.

So, are there any other desires and temptations that can ruin a strong relationship? Share them in the comments section. Thank you and Stay Safe.

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