DIARIES: “Chronicles Of An Abused Woman”

DIARIES: “Chronicles Of An Abused Woman”


Cold is the Night and I’m still locked out of the house, half naked as tears roll down my eyes. This is not the first time he has abused me –beating and embarrassing me in front of the world; but the realization just came to me –why am I still here? – I know it’s not Love, It’s not Pity. All I feel for this man is Fear and Hatred and here I am, begging to be let into a Home I contributed in building. One question keeps coming up –How Did I Get Here? –How did I go from a tough independent woman to one trampled upon by a Vile Man who has no Respect for Me or my children.

My name is Precious Ogedengbe and this is my story.

I was 17 when I had my first boyfriend, Ola. God! He was a charm; Aside his cute looks, he was really smart – 18 and he had already been accepted into a top Nigerian university (UNIBEN) to study Medicine.

As at the time, he was my world. Those were the naughty days; I remember how I used to skip school just to be with him at his grandma’s place.

Ola was an Orphan living with his aged grandma who was also an elder in her church and didn’t ever really showed any support for my relationship to her grandson. Though she never interfered or spoke to us on our relationship, she made it clear she didn’t like me by not responding to my greetings whenever we met. She’d just look the other way like I was some problem she couldn’t do anything about but I didn’t mind -Ola wasn’t bothered, so why should I.

I was a Virgin and I wasn’t in a hurry to change that status, Ola on the other hand was more than eager to pluck the flower. –So then began our problems.

As I said earlier, he got admitted to the university of Benin, I was in preparing for my WAEC Exams then and Lawwd! it was hard to let him leave but deep down I knew there was nothing I could do to make him stay.

The week before his departure, my dear Ola started pushing for sex. First, he was gentle but then he got out of control.

I can recall several occasions when he tried to forcefully have his way with me but always had to retreat when I started crying. His reasons for wanting to have sex with me was to preserve the “love” we shared and keep us rooted to each other.

Ola tried every trick in the book to sleep with me but even though I didn’t know it then, I always felt like I wasn’t ready for what he was proposing. The time came for him to leave for the University. We departed on a lot of promises made and “I’ll miss you gestures”. Friends who saw when we parted ways at the bus park compared our love to the protagonists in “Titanic”.

The sweet boy I knew died that day; not physically but in every other way possible. Three weeks passed and my dear boyfriend didn’t contact me. All efforts I made to reach him proved futile as he never picked my calls.

I remember using a friend’s phone once to call him, he picked the call, heard my voice and dropped the call on me and even blocked the number.

Readers, I was broken. A young girl of 17 like me shouldn’t be going through something so mature. –But I guess I should have known the risks of what I was getting into.

I scaled through my WAEC exams marginally, with mainly Cs –and all through I blamed Dear Ola for my setbacks.

I carried the ideology that I wasn’t good enough for Ola so I wasn’t good enough for anyone. I subscribed to the thought that maybe if I had surrendered my Virginity to Ola, he would have still loved me enough to be with me.

Depression was the Order of my day and through my one year at home before I got admission into the University of Benin –Yes, the same University Ola went to, Mehn, I was really desperate.

Surprising thing was that my Parents never knew what was wrong with me, they never cared to ask why their very Lively daughter switched sharply to a very depressed human. –Guess they were too busy to notice.

In my head, I thought going to the University would make things easier for me… I’d see Ola, we’d make up and end up all rosy right? –well, I never knew my problems just began.

Next part would be posted soon.

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