Divorced..But He Wants Me Back..Am Confused..

Divorced..But He Wants Me Back..Am Confused..

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Please I want to remain anonymous

I have been wanting to share this, but don’t know whom to confide in. I hope I get practical advice.

I got married to the love of my life in 2013 November, before then, he introduced me to his parents and they welcomed me before the wedding.

He lost his job after the wedding, we moved to his friend’s house, he never told me his company gave him money to rent an apartment when it folded up, I got to know through his colleague. He does not discuss anything about his business with me. I always have to squeeze out any information I need from him. I tried to support him in the little way I can.

We travelled to his home town the Christmas of 2013. His parents called a meeting because I did not wake up by 6am to sweep the compound, meanwhile I do every other thing, cooking, washing plates, cleaning the house.I even learnt how to make my father in-laws meals because he does not eat same thing with the rest of the family.

My hubby refused to get a job. The next Christmas ( 2014 ) I had to borrow money from a friend for us to travel.  My dad has been asking me to come home, but because of work I couldn’t, that’s why  I borrowed to make it possible, I spent two days with them and decided to go see my dad on the 30th.

My dad was not around. He travelled, I had to wait for him to come back. He came back on the 1st January 2015. Yes i waited for my dad to get back against the wish of my husband, because according to his family tradition, everyone must be around on the 1st of January to celebrate the new year.

When I came back on the second of January with my dad, my dad offered to drop me. I met my husband, who had  already  packed my things that am leaving his house, His father even hit me, saying I should stand up and leave his house.

All these were happening in the presence of my dad, so my dad helped me carry my things and we left.

Later in April, we went back home to reconcile, but I don’t call the parents on the phone like I always used to do, neither do they call me after the incident.

When I travelled home the following Christmas, my hubby said, I should not come to the house, that his parents are not happy with me. I insisted I’ll come and I went. Truly his father came in and asked me to leave, and hubby was in support. To avoid being hit again, I left.

I got tired of the whole situation and told my parents am no longer interested in the marriage, so they returned my bride price December 2016. My hubby filed for divorce January 2017.

We did not have any child, because both of us did not have the means to raise one.

I have always been the one apologising whenever we have any problem.

The thing is, he wants to come back, he started calling me this April, but am tired, I just want a peaceful life. Since 2013 up till now it’s been one problem or the other. I have been squatting with my friend from when his friend sent me out of his house with my hubby’s order.

Now I have a good job, even though I want out, am scared I might not find someone that will love me, and I don’t want that title ”divorcée”.

How would people see me, am so confused.

 

#TogetherWeCan #SayNoToDomesticViolence #SayNoChildAbuse #TheLotusVoices.

18 COMMENTS

  1. Best advice, ask God for directions, Cox Firstly God does not support divorce, secondly he still do not want u in an abusive environment Cox ur life is very precious to him. So just sit still ND ask God with an open heart and follow his will.
    Human advice don’t go back once an abuser always an abuser except God has been given room in his life if not that den it’s a trap.. GOD help u

  2. Please my sister. Use your brain in this situation o. He has seen that you’ve got a new job. So of course, he wanna come back, because he knows you’d be able to take care of his needs and yours without any question. After all, he is your husband, and he already knows your weakness. He’s gonna use that against you, trust me.
    That your husband is being controlled by his parents like car remote, makes him susceptible to their wiles; and so you wouldn’t have any say in the matter. You must even become their housemaid.
    Doing everything they want just because their son doesn’t have the sense to see anything wrong in that. He is still a baby. And babies don’t get married, talk more of staying married.

    That man just wants to use you and your new job. This one that the father can raise his hand and beat you, the son will even do more. You better think about this.
    And to your thought about not finding true love again, my dear woman, kill it. Kill that thought, because it will start playing tricks with your mind. There are so many other good men out there. You just have to keep an open mind, okay. I love you sis, and I want you to live long.
    #peace

  3. I believe in prayers but i do no believe in an abusive marriage. If your husband cannot stand to defend you before his family members whenever there is an issue, then that is a problem you will keep having. and i tell you with your story you will never be happy in your marriage. Pls let that man go forever you will find a better man and a home where you will have all the peace you desire. Shalom

  4. please dear my advice it is true that God is not in support of divorce but here now need to be transparent and let the reality down
    from 2013 to 2017 is barely four years and all while your marriage has with so much troubles
    my Dear I don’t think that man is meant for u
    perhaps u got married to him because u were blinded by love that U did not have the time to ask for God’s own will
    my dear that man is still a baby and a game player
    he has no sense of his own and cannot take decisions as a man
    in as much as he still a baby and his heart keep on being manipulated by his parents you will keep on having one problem after the other because he cannot stand as a man and defend u the way he ought to as your husband
    probabely he’s back because you gat a new job
    thank God you have no child for him so keep on running and don’t look back
    And as for falling in love again
    baby you’re so prity to doubt you’ll even get a better man
    just believe in ur,love your and be faithful to God he will see u through
    I love u dearie

  5. I have only one sentence to drop. Dear sister, no matter what, do not go back, I repeat, do not even think of it.

  6. Go back to what? Please don’t even think of it. You’ll just die for nothing like my elder sister over a decade ago. And perish the thought you won’t find love again. You will: trust me

  7. Don’t go back dear, if he did it before den definitely he can do it again and God’s definition of love doesn’t cos any problem so dat is not kinda love God wants for u. Learn to love urself, n build urself cos God will bring a better man ur way

  8. The family does not want you so please don’t force it.may GOD guide you aright.you deserve the best.

  9. At this stage of your life you can’t avoid to put yourself in bondage for the second time again. Nobody should tell you what to do with your destiny, what you are supposed to do is to pray seriously for Devine leading so that you will not be maritally enslaved again. To me your ex husband and his family have not change it appears to me that they just want to finish what they have started with you .Don’t allow emotional feelings to dictate your decision. You must be bold enough to say no when you meant no and yes when you meant yes.

  10. You will be a coward to go back to your vomit. You have returned the bride price. Please forget him and move on with your life. That man is a gold digger and he could not even protect you or defend you. He does not deserve you. God had delivered you from sorrow. Do not return yourself there except he has surrendered completely to Jesus Christ. Shalom my dear

  11. Go your way. Your husband is not ready for marriage. He is still tied to the apron strings of his parents. More so he has not gotten a house to stay with his wife even if it is one room. Someone else will come around to marry you.

  12. Please forget him and his family, he is begging now cox of ur job, want to come and be a parasite. you will still see true love, wish u success

  13. Marriage is for life. God abhors divorce after marriage. We don’t obey God only when it is pleasant. Go to God the originator of marriage and ask him for intervention. Invite your husband and discuss the areas you have challenge in the marriage. Your period of separation has taught him some lessons. Reconcile with him and work hard and trust God for a better future. It shall be well and remain blessed.

  14. Marriage is for life. God abhors divorce for whatsoever reason. Go to God the originator of marriage and ask for his intervention. Your period of separation has taught him some lessons.Invite him and discuss your areas of challenges. Reconcile with him, work hard and trust God for light at the end of tunnel. Both your new job and lessons of the separation are altogether for a better marital future. It shall be well and remain blessed.

  15. Pls lady discus with him on the matter that happened and other challenges too, dont be in haste, remember he has to come back with his family members to return the bride price again, hmmm dont rush, also pray to God for direction, involve a pastor, God will intervain for you, you are beautiful, love ur self and take care of ur self.

  16. Please is divorce a disease like HIV that u are scared of it. A man that His dad asked u to leave d house in front of your dad and he solidly supported him. His father even hit you sef. My dear this might be death calling ooo …. no put head without serious prayers n considerations.

  17. Don’t go back to him since his father is always take side with him whenever you guys have issues and again he doesn’t love you and pray to GOD go give you your own husband that will love you..

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