Dear Unbrokenchord. good morning. can my story be told anonymously. no real name or picture. I need help from my self too.
I’m in my mid twenties. and i have been through a lot that has formed my life. i know i have a lot of issues. emotional scars that has brought lot more issues
i hide behind a lot of mask. and year my life feels like an abstract art, memories hunt me, and i think i even have a suppress one. but am too scared to ask my mum, and i think i even have a suppress one. but am too scared to ask my mum, as a child i had this neighbour that people jokingly call my husband. i wont advice any mother to allow that ever. its the beginning of my travials.
At age 5, I had become emotionally attached. i would watch my parents and t.v and assumed i should be like that to the brother who was in secondary school.
One day he tried to finger me. i was sitting innocently opposite him as his sister cooked in the kitchen. just then he said he want to show me something and luckily his sister walked by and screamed. She called me aside and told me never to allow any man touch me there and sent me home.
He was sent back to the village and I kept wondering what was there that got aunty screaming. A seed was planted then. I tried to ask my mum. she told me never to touch there its bad. i believed her and moved on.
I read a lot of books. Mum found it fun and was proud so did not restrict me. Parents should limit what kids read and see.
I stumbled on every woman by ten. I was home, bored and I had just written my entrance exam to enter into the secondary school.
I had no guidance or explanations to things I saw, so i just learnt on my own that the place mum said is bad is not bad at all. Mum came home that day and beat me up. I had questions but I couldn’t ask. All I was told was it was bad for me. Later mum told me about the birds and the bees and making bird bees.
Then as a preacher. reminded me that keeping my virginity was important till marriage. she too did. even though we were poor i should see how my dad loves and cherish her. How her sister’s husband never stops mentioning his wife’s own and come to thank mum for raising the sister well once a while. I shouldn’t make my own different. I wanted that too. The love i mean. so i vowed to.
But then I was always alone. We could not afford schooling and government were yet to release the school results, so I was always alone at home. One day a step cousin came home.
They were rich in a way and treated us bad. we lived in their compound back then. He said he was sick and needed help, so i went to help and also have someone to talk to.
That was another issue all together. Next thing i know uncle had lifted me and placed me on the floor. shifted my panties and was on top of me in no second I was brilliant enough to know if he gets in I would lose my virginity and mum checks me yearly. so I shifted and his manhood stayed between my laps. and I waited it out in fear.
When he was done he looked at me and said. never you mention this to even you mum. You know your mum is not rich and we are, you see how big my dad is and my uncles. if you tell her. we will kill you and my family will lock your mum up on false accusations just because we can.
All this i tell you my parents till today do not know. my mum know am not a virgin but the abuses i have been through no one knows. my fiancee does not know.
So I shut my mouth and hoped my mum would find out on her own and ask…. To be continued
I have had lots of survivor stories sent to unbrokenchords, this is one that truly captures the reality of the moral decadence of our society, how vulnerable children are abused daily, without parents any wiser. The trauma of the abuse never goes away, maybe with counselling and support, you learn to live with it. It defines ones live and the path you take. Outlook and take on life is muddled.
When a child is continued to be abused by almost everyone she trust, who then is to blame? The parents who should have kept them safe or the system who should have ensured that pedophiles and rapist are not allowed to roam around committing same crime over and over!