HILDA O EHIDIAMEN: ‘My Son Asked Me To Leave,’ Survivor ReelTalk

HILDA O EHIDIAMEN: ‘My Son Asked Me To Leave,’ Survivor ReelTalk

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NOTE: Interview as granted by the beautiful Hilda Ehidiamen a while back, she wanted unbrokenchords to republish the interview, hoping it will inspire as many as possible, who are currently walking in the shoes  she once walked.

“I want my story to be published so others struggling with it will know there is light at the end of the tunnel.”….. Hilda Ehidianmen

Sometimes, when we see people on screen and other media, we are always quick to conclude that these set of people are having a good life without challenge.  However, the reverse is the case because they have a responsibility of putting smiles on the faces of their viewers and adding values to people’s life, they sacrifice a lot. These encapsulate the personality of Hilda Ehidiamen, the fashion lady of Galaxy TV who recently had a chat with Ibadankiniso Media. Journey with us as we share the touching and life changing story of a Boss lady who made a way through her career despite all personal challenges. Enjoy.

IBADANKINISO: Give us an insight into who Hilda Ehidiamen?

HILDA: My name is Ambassador Hilda Omosefe Ehidiamen,  I’m a fashion lady from Edo state.  I was born in Lagos state but I grew up in Cross-River. I graduated from Edo State University, Ekpoma, now Ambrose Ali University where I studied English language.  Am a single mother of two kids; Victor and Erika who are into modeling as well.

I run a fashion show on Galaxy TV called ‘Fashion with Hilda’ and I run it with my partner, Matthew Olaleye.  Also, I run a modeling and ushering agency where I train young people to believe in themselves. One thing I have come to realize is that self-confidence is the key in any enterprise we find ourselves.

This is the key thing I inculcate in my trainees.  As the social media has become a platform of social engagement and mechanism, I run an NGO group on facebook called HILDA’S TOUCH NOT (a fight against violence and rape).

The motive behind this is not to encourage young girls alone but to serve as their mouth piece.  I also have a yearly show that I do, HILDA’S FAMILY FASHION SHOW, it’s for young girls, have written a book titled G.I.R.L meaning, GROWING INTO THE RIGHT LADY.

IBADANKINISO: What drives you into all these engagements?

HILDA:  We are who we are by the sum total of our experiences, knowledge and exposure. What drives me is a combination of personal experience and my desire to ensure that I make the world a better place. I strongly believe in the axiom that says “be the change you want to see in the world”. In my little way, I am changing the world.

IBADANKINISO: How did you find yourself in Ibadan?

HILDA:  Well, it wasn’t a pleasant thing. I was actually involved in a domestic violent relationship, a bad marriage and that was what drove me down to Ibadan. That was six (6) years ago and am loving Ibadan. Ibadan is really a place to be, but when I first came down, people said I was crazy because Ibadan is not like Lagos, Port Harcourt or Benin where social life is at optimum but being in Ibadan has been awesome because Ibadan is taking over and am loving it.

IBADANKINISO: How long have you been a T. V Presenter? What really inspired your choice of career?

HILDA:  Broadcasting has been a lifetime passion. Before I got into broadcasting field I was into movies with my ex-husband.  We produced a couple of movies and I started with ‘Third eye’ then featured in the movie ‘Ripples’ from there to ‘Glamour girls 2’. All along have been involved in one or two screen display here and there.

So, when I got to Ibadan I thought of what I can do because most of the movies here are Yoruba based movies which I’m not so good at, but then broadcasting found me through Mr Okunola the GM of MITV. I got his contact through someone and I called him to cajole him, telling him that despite the fact that his station is one of the best in Ibadan, something is still missing in his station and that missing thing is me. He laughed about it and invited me over. Through that encounter, we established a network. He later told me MITV will be coming over to Ibadan and I should be on TV not on Radio.

Eventually, I was picked to be part of breakfast show by adding a segment to it.  I have always been fascinated about people who have distinguished themselves in life, people who have made it here in Ibadan, so I told them I will like to be interviewing them so that the youth can learn from their experiences, but funny enough, I was introduced as a fashion lady to talk about fashion and since then it’s been fashion which I never planned for but thank God I have created a niche for myself in that sub – sector.

IBADANKINISO: As a Fashion Presenter, what motivates you?

HILDA: I have flair for African prints. I strongly feel, we can run the world with “Ankara”.  I also get motivated by people who are focus irrespective of life challenges and in my field; I admire people with creativity, people who can think outside the box. All these motivates me

IBADANKINISO: What distinguishes you as a presenter?

HILDA: Dynamism is the key. In all fields of endeavors, dynamism is the key. What used to be obtainable in broadcasting three years ago is different from what is obtainable now and what will be obtainable in the next three years. So, if I am stagnant I will be replaced by someone who is up to date and dynamic.

IBADANKINISO: What are the challenges of modern day broadcasting considering the social media factor?

HILDA:  The media is one. Be it social media, print media or mass media. One cannot do without the other and this falls back to dynamism which I said earlier. One great challenge for me as a person is instrument to standardize my show. Recording has not been easy and it takes a lot of input to get things done. There are modern gadgets that we are working towards

IBADANKINISO: What’s your take on the current situation of the economy?

HILDA: The only thing I will say is change doesn’t come easy. Change comes with a lot of pain and that’s what we are going through now.  I’m not saying am comfortable with it but for something good to come in, we have to go through the pain, they say ‘No pain, No gain’ So if we are going through this now for something good is to come in, it’s okay, we will surely grow pass it, we are a strong people.

IBADANKINISO:  From your experience, what is your advice for people who have been broken through domestic violence?

HILDA: I’m so touched by that question because. It’s not funny to be violated and that is why I wrote a book about women who have been through domestic violence.  It’s not easy, I lived in it for twelve (12) years, I was actively been abused, being raped by my husband in front of my children. It’s God that can help you out of it but most importantly, you can help yourself out because if you are waiting for people to help you out, they won’t. So many people believe more in your marriage than your life, they will only advise you to stay back especially when you have children; they want you to stay and die in the marriage.

Funny enough, my son was the one who asked me to leave because he grew up in it, seeing his mum being molested. So I will advise that if you are in such abusive relationship try get my contact to reach me because you need to talk to someone who has gone through it. Yes, God hates divorce but I’m yet to see where it is written in the Bible or Quran that one should stay in an abusive relationship.

My pastor will say “my Christianity ends when a man lay his hands or abuse his wife or woman” it should never be accepted, when it happens, just leave, because they don’t start by beating, it starts from verbal abuse, when you accept it, it graduate to emotional abuse, from there to a slap on the face and before you know it, it keeps going and it will even happen sometimes in the public. As for me, I put my pastor’s advice into consideration and I did the needful.

I know it’s not easy to just leave  and put all behind, why did I not leave until I was abused for solid twelve years, because it has not gotten to the point where I needed to leave but please I’m begging you not to let it get to that point because the person might die.  I will advise the ladies out there to just leave such relationship, don’t be scared, I left and I suffered, I slept with my children on the floor of a rest room, I went through a lot but today I’m doing well and I have a story to tell.

On how to pick up your life after leaving, I will say it’s not easy but you need to be focus, don’t think of how you will start or what people will think of you, I left my marriage six (6) years ago and am still picking up, if you keep thinking of who to help you financially, you won’t move from a spot, just make a move like a fool, just like a blind person, I left Lagos with my kids having nowhere to go.

I begged on the street to feed my kids too. Why am I emphasizing on leaving is that;  it’s better for you to start all over again, from the beginning than to remain in an abusive relationship and please talk to someone about it, get advice from people who have been through it, if you are learned, pick up your certificate and start all over , you can’t do anything if you are still in that relationship, just take a day at a time, you can’t just get back to your feet over night, no but as for me, I left and am happy, I can think well and chose well too, if I’m still there i won’t be able to do any good thing with my life and also when you leave, work on yourself, don’t rush into another relationship, you are not mentally balanced for that yet, you just left where they make you feel you are useless, worthless and inferior, get your balance, don’t rush things, leave first and God will help us all. Thank you.

IBADANKINISO: Thank you so much ma for sharing your experience with us

HILDA: You are welcome and thanks for having me too.

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