“I will commit adultery to get divorced.” Help me God, Cry of...

“I will commit adultery to get divorced.” Help me God, Cry of a broken wife

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Hmmm…Just on a fateful day, I and my friend were having a chat, one talk lead to another and she started pouring out her heart to me.

She said she married her husband at the age of 18. That was not the intended time for her to get married because she just completed her diploma and her father was so eager to push her through degree program in the university

Her mother wanted her to get married after the diploma and as such she needed to bring home a husband. Any man she brings, the mum will reject, is either the guy is this, or the guy is that.

Everyday quarrel between her and her mum. Mum will insult her, then started beating and cursing her. Mum just get’s angry whenever she sees her around.

One thing lead to another, then mum suggested a guy for her. The guy was  from mum’s village, according to her she asked mum

‘do you like me to marry him?

Very happy, mum said, not just like, if you agree to marry him, I will buy you a big fridge. She succumbed to make mum happy, mum was happy.

Then communication commenced with the guy, he said he loved and wanted to marry her right away, she asked ‘what about my degree program? She said he promised to sponsor her education after the marriage.

Mum was very excited. My friend was sad, she would always cry because she has a guy she was in love with and now she was being made to marry someone else.

Immediately marriage plans commenced, she met with this guy four times before the wedding took place. The marriage took place within eight months from when the mum introduced her to him. She barely knew. She was marrying a complete stranger to make the mum happy.

After the marriage things began to fall apart, he said to her ‘I need a child before any school thing, she agreed to that. She was a virgin. She got pregnant on the very first night of the marriage.

She began to see some characters from him, he stays away from home for weeks, returns only on Sundays and when he comes back home after spending weeks out with no excuse or reason of his staying out, he would still not spend anytime with her at home, he will either go to the football ground to watch match or go to a beer parlour, ensuring he stays out the whole day.

She often gets calls  from mystery women, they will be insulting her, calling her names, most times this calls were made from the  husband phone, strange women were calling and insulting her, using his phone while he was out with the women.

She will have to bear because it’s a church marriage. She learnt to become more patient with time. She went through lots of physical and emotional abuse, beatings, insults. She became very frustrated.

After two years of marriage, she reminded him about her school, the promise he made,’ he said I need a male child, the first one was a female child. she had no choice, got pregnant again.

Thankful, God gave her the desired male child.

Alas, he became worst, the beatings multiplied, with insult. So many disgusting things he was doing to her, calling her names.

I was present one day when her husband threatened to kill her with a very big iron in his hands, I shouted to neighbours to come to her aid.

After that incident, she went on hospital admission, on discharge from the hospital, she told me she won’t go back to that house, ‘I don’t even love this man in question, I just agreed, I thought he would love me and I will learn to love him too, but as it is now I can’t bear it.

I pleaded with her to go back and pray more, I pleaded and more, she then agreed and went back there.

I went with her, right in my presence, he took her bag and told her to leave, I pleaded with him and invited one of his friends.

It got settled, She stayed back in the house. I always see her, down and frustrated, I can’t help her, she’s always in tears. I will always hear her cry and say, ‘I have wasted my six years, what will I do to be free from this marriage?

‘Help me, you are my friend’

I always advice and say to her ‘you will still learn to tolerate and love him, bear it more’

She quoted me the Bible some weeks back saying

‘the bible said we should not go on divorce, also quoted, a man can only divorce his wife if he found her unfaithful.

She told me I will go out and be an unfaithful woman so I can have my freedom. I don’t know what to say again.

Help my friend, you might have advice that will ease her. She might go out of the will of God.

Please dear fellow women, advise her, what would you do?

By #WorriedFriend.

16 COMMENTS

  1. This is how we get it wrong, the bible did not say, stay and get killed. The man is a cheat, an abuser and hits you on top of it all. My sister walk away or you will be carried away in a casket. You better find a better life. Please dear friend don’t Advice her to stay again.

  2. My dear sister, Nobody ever died of divorce. It is better to walk away than to stay in an unhappy marriage, you don’t have to commit adultery to be divorced. I will suggest you walk away now that you can and go get a life before he kills you. May God direct you.

  3. You trying to be unfaithful just to leave the marriage is not the best idea. That man has no plans for young in the next six years to come,because from the look of things you never got married to him because you loved him you got married to him because you wanted your mum to be happy for getting your mum her lived her own life and is life for you to live yours,you sold your happiness out because of your mum. But the deed has been done and you have children for him my dear he best thing to do is to quietly walk out of that marriage,you walking out of that marriage is not a sin at all because God knows your heart and he knows what you are going through. The earlier the better the best for you just take a bold step and leave that marriage because that man got nothing to offer you.
    Just move on with your life and take good care of your children because is all that matters to you right now. Is never too late to start up a new life. Thanks
    #say no to domestic violence and abuse.
    I stand for peace. Thanks

  4. Your happiness shouldn’t be compromised for anything. He hits on you, cheats, threatened to kill you. Are these not enough reason’s to walk away? Please leave while you still can. You don’t have to retaliate with cheating on him, to have him send you away. You wear the shoe and knows where it pinches most. If you aren’t happy, then you deserve to be happy. We only live once and if well lived, that once is enough. Get close to GOD and will direct your steps.

  5. Pls you don’t have to do that for him to divorce you,simply work out of that marriage, remember you still have a life ahead of you working out is better than involving yourself in adultery….pls leave that man and go take care of you children before he kills you.

  6. Dearie, unfaithfulness is not an option. Don’t give him a reason to humiliate you any further, and don’t sin against your body and against God in such manner. Pls, take your children and leave. Stay alive for your children. Yes, God hates divorce, but God loves you more and does not want such for you. Run for your life!

  7. The Bible says, a man that can not take care of his home is worse than an infidel (unbeliever). And if a man can put away his wife on the count of adultery, I believe the wife can also leave on the same charge. Let’s be wise as Christians marriage should not be a death sentence. If he is not taking care of you, cheats on you, beats you he is an unbeliever with whom you re not to be equally yoked. Apostles Paul teaches that you can leave an unbelieving spouse who is unwilling to abide in the marriage. So my dear, please for the sake of your peace and health leave. You can’t even serve God right in such state mind. Leave ooooooooo, ur not in error

  8. Where is that mother of yours who forced you into this marriage? My friend, the Bible admonishes us to be wise. Just leave for no one knows the future.

  9. Comment:Commiting adultery is a sin against God. Leave the marriage before he kills u and another woman takes ur place. He’s not worth the trouble. God help u.

  10. Liberty: Consider the marriage as a mistake and walk out of that prison, you did nothing wrong by listening to your useless mum who has no little conscience. Free yourself my dear, life is only one, your mum sold you to the man

  11. You’re indirectly encouraging domestic violence by encouraging a friend to stay in such. If he kills her tomorrow, you’ll still come out to tell us what she passed tru. Kindly tell ur friend to leave such unhealthy relationship. It has an after effect later in life.

  12. my dear sister,i have being in ur shoes i knw how u feel.Me i took laws on my hand becos God cannot fight for us.Life is sweet out dere,now he is regreting why he did all does tings he did,but i dont give a damn anymore am happy with d only child i have.If God says i will get a better man dat will be my daughters wish not mine anymore,all i know is dat i will enjoy my life to d fullest.My dear go and seek for divorce its not anymore sin.

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