Waking up every morning and wondering what the day will bring, I spent 45minutes in front of my wardrobe thinking about what outfit i was going to stun people with today, letting my mood loose around me, I am going through my closet… oh happy day !
I feel free and relaxed…maybe I should pick something flowing and sexy, like my favourite orange maxi dress or pristine white culottes with matching crop… something free and exciting. As I put on my clothes and admire my reflection in my full length mirror, I briefly, only for a split second contemplate where I am, where I live, who I live with and what they would all say or think of todays choice of garment. A split second thought. Then I shrug my shoulders, flick my hair and saunter over to my vanity table where I apply my ‘beauty enhancers’ *batts eyelashes*.
I CAN be myself, I CAN wear what I want to wear, I CAN be with whom I choose to be with. A wave of sadness washes through me, I remember this quote I read somewhere
“When you grow up as a girl, the world tells you the things you are supposed to be: loving, beautiful, wanted. And then when you are these things, the world tell you they are inferior, illogical, weak, vain, empty.” ——-Stevie Nick
I live in a society where I am not expected to be me, where everything I do has to meet with unspoken approval from all around me. From what I wear to who I choose to be with, we are both expected to fit a standard unscripted but has to be acted on. A person who dresses right, looks right, speaks rights, behaves right and is loved by everyone around except ME.
It’s MY life, MY body, it’s MY choice, it’s MY decision and I am ready to live with the consequences.
I want to be free to see whomever I choose, however I want and where ever I desire. I want to be free to do whatever I want with whomever I choose, doing whatever I desire.
If I choose to be with him, should be my business, not what society thinks, want or expects of me. Dreadlock, tattoo, piercings or whatever they choose to identify him as, the outside beauty is not what matters, its all about the unique personality, kindness and that person that will always put me first. that is all should matter. it is no one’s business. Does that make me a bad person? NO! Does that make them a bad person? NO! It makes them unique; it makes me unbiased and unpretentious.
I love the art and beauty of lovemaking, it’s exhilarating, its a mystery of its own. It is the best gift God has ever given to man. Sex is art, music, creativity; it is the joining of body, soul and mind. It is that special gift that brings and man and a woman together as one in that moment.
I love to be in love, It helps me understand and appreciate myself, love myself, yes it can be sad at times but nothing beats the feeling of when you are in love. its simply awesome! I love and enjoy the act of love making, in its beautiful entirety, lovemaking is like a work of art in motion. It takes your body and soul to realms otherwise impossible, especially when the feeling is in sync.
So why does society treat women as though we should not have the same desires as men? So much pretence around sex, some take the high road, some cannot or do not feel or see the need to talk about, like it’s a taboo not to talk about it but to just do it.
Our society, so judgmental of how many relationships you have had and yet not married. Instead of the amount of sexual partners a woman has had being the main focus, we should learn to instead appreciate that women often lead with their emotions and are just loving and caring in nature…not to say that women should be encouraged to sleep with any Tom, Dick and Harry, but appreciate that not all are lucky enough to find THE ONE straight away, and have had to kiss a lot of frogs before finding their Prince Charming, and should not be judged by how many partners they have had because nobody except that individual knows the circumstances or reasoning behind this. Not all women should be judged as loose or cheap whores simply based on a tally of sexual partners.
So please keep your judgments to yourself and let me be, let me enjoy my sexuality and don’t try to make me hide it, or be ashamed.
written By Iphie Belonwi