Ty Bello, a singer and songwriter recently spoke about how she was abused growing up. How she felt dirty and blamed herself through the years. Sadly there are lots girls who are battling those emotions right now.
The singer opened up about a part of her life that many people never knew. She was sexually assaulted as a child and this tragedy left deep psychological wounds that shaped her formative years.
“I was sexually abused as a child and because of this, I felt like there was something ugly about me that made me encounter this,” said the singer who added that she blamed herself for the horror she endured
Many young girls are still struggling to make sense of what they went through, especially those abused by family members who were entrusted with their care.
I have had the privilege of hearing from some young girls who were abused at a very tender and vulnerable age. This young girls were repeatedly raped by trusted family members.
Speaking to them, you can almost physically feel the pains and trauma, it’s very heartbreaking and really sad knowing most abusers are walking freely around.
They still struggle to this day to understand why.
Ty Bello said….’a shock that nobody talks about it’
This is very true, nobody wants to talk about it, it’s almost like a taboo. The truth is if we don’t talk about it, if we don’t start shattering the silence around all kinds of abuses, it will keep happening.
Every victim of child abuse, know this, it was not your fault, you did nothing wrong!
“This was not the abuser’s fault, this was me. I used to see other girls as flowers and I saw myself as dirty cement, hard and ugly. I never felt beautiful, everything was wrong with me, I was hairy and it was a problem.”
She said in the riveting interview, noting how she continued in the self-blame which would only be healed by virtue of religion. “I always attributed everything that was about me to be the reason someone took advantage of me. I thought there was something wrong with me because if the others girls were like me perhaps they would be dirty like me but they were flowers,” she said.
Adding, “When a friend told me about salvation, she told me old things would be passed away and all things will become new. It was as if God could wash away that stench and I would become a girl because I didn’t feel like a girl.”
For TY Bello, she would later realise that sexual assault is rife in our society and victims hardly speak up.
“I was shocked when I grew up and found that one out every three or four girls in my secondary school had suffered the same thing and I could tell them the same thing… that old things can pass away,” she said.
Religion brought her healing, and today, many years later, the mother of twin sons can boldly share her experience. She can talk about it now because she is a survivor.
“It was a relief to find that I was not the only one and a shock that nobody talks about it. That’s why salvation worked, I had a daddy and I was going to be a flower,” she said.
By Kadiri Manfred