She Would Not Leave: “For My Children Sake” She Died

She Would Not Leave: “For My Children Sake” She Died

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Dear Unbrokenchords.

I will not be mentioning names here out of respect for her children, but I will share her story so others can learn.

When I read the Mirian Okpara story { READ HER STORY HERE}  “she died: Broken By The Man She Loved” I cried it was similar to my beautiful cousin died.

My cousin was a lovely person, beautiful and caring. what most of our family members could never understand was why she married this man.she knew best, she was happy, that was all we cared about,but little did anyone know.

They had four children, she died four months after the fourth child was born.

I remember how every time I saw my cousin she was never happy, she always had one bruise or the other, initially I always try to find out where she got the bruising from, she did give some funny excuse and she will tell me it’s nothing.

Now, how I wish I had made something out of it. I remember one day she was lying down outside her balcony, it’s became really clear to me after reading the ” Mirian okpara story,”

My sweet cousin was afraid of her husband, my cousin was laid on the floor when I came around to see her, groaning in pain.

When I asked what was wrong, she said malaria, I got busy trying to help her with some house stuff but I observed she was very unsettled, she kept wanting to know when I will leave but I just ignored her thinking she was only fussing because it was getting late.

The husband then came in, I was taken back with the way my cousin struggled to get up immediately to set the table for him, not at any point did the man ask how she was.

I had to say, ‘what are you doing, you are not well, leave it I will do it, just tell me what to do’.

You could see the fear in her, it was so visible I had to ask if there was something wrong and she said no in a very terse way, I had to leave, left with anger of how could a man not help his sick wife.

I did not visit her for a long time, only asked after her from my mum as her mum who was my mum sister was late, it was my mum responsibility to look out for them, together with my grandmother.

She was in the early stage of her last pregnancy when I visited her again, spent two days with her, she asked me to, not for once did I see the husband, and I never asked.

Next time I saw her she was very heavy. We had a light banter, there was so much sadness in her eyes. She said “my children are the one making me suffer like this” I said ‘how.’.. she said , ‘am just talking.’ we parted ways.

The next time I saw her, she had given birth, I went to see her, she was not as happy as a new mother should be, I asked after her husband, she said he’s okay, said this in a very disconnected manner.

I did not prod further, just then the husband walks in, in a funny happy mood but you could see my cousin was keeping her distance, she went into the inner room to talk with him.

I head raised voices, she came out saying ” so you abandoned me and the baby because your girlfriend is pregnant too?”

“I am tired of all this, if I talk you will start beating me, see how me and the children are suffering yet you are having another baby, today I will talk, beat me, kill me”, on and on she went.

I got tired of trying to calm her down, the heartless man left, I ended up spending the night there. She felt better, at the time I left at midday the following day.

The husband was a no show. On getting home, I told my mum and grand mum who was visiting then what I witnessed, not either of them showed surprise. My grandmother with a straight sad face said “that man will be the death of my granddaughter”

I am just going to cut a long sad story short.

Yes she died, she died four months after I visited her, they said she had stomach pain, a neighbour said they had a fight as always, yes as always.

According to what the neighbour and a close friend to my late cousin told us, she said, my cousin was met up with her the following day at the common tap where they fetch water from.

During their chat, my cousin complained that her stomach hurts badly,  my cousin exact words were “the useless man kicked me in the stomach, knowing I just gave birth, wicked man, she’s is trying to kill me so he can bring his pregnant girlfriend home” they then had a laugh, the neighbour said, she did advise her to visit the hospital if the pain continues, seeing she just gave birth and  they parted ways.

The next day she died on the way to the hospital as the stomach pain became unbearable.

Yes, she died, two strange men came to inform us of her death, a day I will never forget, I saw colour drain from my mother’s face, she left with the two men.

I sood frozen for a very long time, looking at the car they came to collect my mum with until it disappeared from my sight, then  i started wailing, i was crying more for my grandmother. Another child to be buried by her, would her frail body and mind survive this…

The husband went into mourning, his community came together to support him, we all gave our support, but deep down we knew who was to blame.

Every day, I doubt it not, he killed her, yes I hold him responsible for her death, he first killed her emotionally before the physical that eventually ended her.

Who knows what damage the beating she complained of caused, internal bleeding most likely. God knows.

Please dear women, if you are a victim, speak out, ask for help, leave before you are carried out !!

To families, fight for your love ones if you suspect abuse going on, they will refuse help, make them accept help.

By Ms A.f

#SayNoToDomesticViolenceAndAbuse

24 COMMENTS

  1. Women pls lets be brave enough to leave when its unbearable.Now she finally left the children behind.This story really hurts me.

  2. Why stay and die in a bad marriage instead of leaving with your life, given to you by God. Why let a weak man end it all..

  3. Ur life is more important, even if he d sole bread winner, U can survive wthout him but wth God. Pls dnt die bcos of him/others…

  4. Very sad and touching….ts xo unfortunate dat she couldn’t speak out and cry for help and moreover, her granny nd aunty were aware of d ordeal she was passing through yet deh couldn’t salvage the situation. Please to every woman passing through such violence should please speak out and call for help. SILENCE KILLS

  5. Am short of words,what a heartless man,he will never see reasons to smile since he decided to send his wife to her early grave.please let put hands and fight against domestic violence,save a soul today.
    Most of these men seem to be heartless please for God sake of you are in a marriage or relationship and you are experiencing these shits please run for your dear life because you have good things to do with your life and not dying for one useless man that doesn’t worth it all because of marriage or relationship.thanks

  6. This hurts, a lot. I still wonder how someone can raise his hands on a woman. I mean you’re supposed to treat her like a demigod. Your wife is supposed to come after your mum, I personally believe that any man wgi doesn’t treat his wife right, doesn’t also treat him mum right. My heart bleeds for all those women suffering. May the Lord strengthen them and make a way for them.

  7. A man who raised his hands on a woman will never lead a grateful life..Dear Woman…God knows how much you suffer…Peace be with you…it hurts me…

  8. A man who raised his hand on a woman will never lead a grateful life..Dear Woman…God knows how much you suffer…Peace be with you…it hurts

  9. what a sad story she should have cried out since. why die in silence. pls always learn to leave a violent and Abusive man earlier the better children or no children so that you can be alive to take of your children.

  10. what a sad story she should have cried out since. why dying in silence. pls always learn to leave a violent and Abusive man, earlier the better children or no children so that you can be alive to take care of your children.

  11. Please,women be vigilant and calculative so that things like this can be avoided from any extreme irrespective of gender.
    United,we should stand ‘LETS STOP VIOLENCE…………., ABUSE,………….HUMILIATION……..ETC

  12. WHAT A PITY………….WOMEN BE VIGILANT AND CALCULATIVE.
    WE SHOULD STAND UNITED AND STOP …….ABUSE……HUMILIATION…….VIOLENCE…ETC

  13. May Her Soul Rest In Peace ,may God Grant The Children Their Heart Desire As For The Man He Will Pay For It And Also Women,find Your Way Out Whenever You Are In Such Situation.

  14. Sad, really sad. I was in an abusive relationship many years back; i left with my son, who’s in his 20s now. But that same son cannot seem to forgive me for leaving his dad who has moved on and had other children

  15. No matter how sick mothers are we always want them to live forever, but in this case she was killed, according to the story—every death diminishes humanity, no one deserve to die like the woman in the story—please stop the abuse, women must stop beating men emotionally and men must stop killing women physically…..

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