If Only My Pastor Had Told Me It Was Okay To Leave

If Only My Pastor Had Told Me It Was Okay To Leave


I always got a Gift……

I got a gift today… It wasn’t my birthday or any other special day. Ironically, we had our first argument last night, he said a lot of cruel and painful things that really hurt me. But deep down, I know he is really sorry and didn’t mean the things he said…because he apologised and  sent me gift today.

I got another gift today… It wasn’t our anniversary or any other special day. But last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me. It seemed like a nightmare. I couldn’t believe it was real. I woke up in the morning sored and bruised all over. I know he must be sorry, because  he begged and got his family members and friends to do same and thereafter sent me a gift.

I got yet another gift today… It wasn’t mother’s day or any other special day. Last night, he beat me up again. And it was much worse than other times. If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of the kids? What about money? I’m afraid of him and scared to leave. But I know he must be sorry, Because once more apology and a gift was given to me.

Today he finally sent me some lovely flowers…   Lots of them…Today was very special. It was the day of my funeral. Last night he finally killed me. He beat me to death.


If only I had gathered enough courage and strength to leave him, if only my family had stood by me and supported me during my travails. If only they had encouraged me to leave and welcomed me back home and not treat me as though I was sold to him.

If only my pastor had told me it was okay to leave and not insisted that I stay on and pray for him to change. If only the police had listened to my complaints and not chase me away like an outcast, if only the culture and tradition  I  was born into had regards for me as a woman, I would still be alive and not have gotten flowers today.

Real man don’t hit…

Stop Domestic Violence !!!



Shared By Grace Beatrice Awazie On FB Page For UnbrokenChords.


  1. I believe this days pastors do preach against domestic violence and women should leave when it comes to this beating of a thing.

  2. I will say this, any pastor that advise a woman to stay with a violent man who beats and abuse her is not doing her any good. Fellow women, please use your sense, don’t listen to advise that can lead you to an early grave.

  3. devilish man I don’t know who gave him the Wright to kill his wife. he will surely pay for his sin when GOD time come.

  4. she’s gone,may her soul rest in peace.its should be a lesson to all.that we should rather be patient to pray outside a relationship before marriage than to waste energy praying for a way out of a voilent relationship.

  5. Women before you marry any man, date him for atleast a year, in the process of dating or courtship he will manifest those serpentine behavior, don’t think he will change, don’t overlook it those are warning signs. If he doesn’t change when he is single he will not change in marriage and never think you can change any man. If the holy spirit has been trying to change you of your sins and as a person you know you still go back to doing it so how do you expect to change a man.
    Love is not blind
    Live another day

  6. I know it’s difficult to take that bold step and leave. No matter how long the relationship or what people may say, walk away from toxic people you will be glad you did. Stay alive

  7. is better to stay alive and take care of the outside marriage than to die inside marriage and leave the kids suffering in the hand of another woman, walk away from domestic abuse, stay alive for the kids

  8. The flowers where more precious to you than your life, if only you took a bold step and move on or even let any of your family members to be aware of what you are going through instead of dying in silence which lead you your grave.
    Please speak out talk to protest against domestic violence and abuse and save a soul today.thanks

  9. I am a woman, and I sure sympatize with the lady…but hmm how quick we human are to blame something on every other ting, culture, enviroment, pastors, , family etc… I realy am against domestic violence.. but I will also like to add another only if. Only if you never had married him. Because the truth from studies shows that violence doesn’t just start in marriage but before it. ..yeah I know I will get some hates for this…but please let’s all stop blaming things on everyone but us.

  10. victims of domestic violence should always leave when they can. don’t die in the hands of an abusive man!

  11. The thought of an abusive man can affect one psychological not to talk of the physical abuse on a woman. Leave while you can pls.
    I have been there before

  12. Pls my fellow, women marriage isn’t a do or die affair. Pls run when you still can. Is so sad that In Nigeria some parents still Insists on A woman staying all because her bride price has been paid. Wise up women. Say no to domestic violence.

  13. Its just a write up guys ……though the emotions u v shown has shown people actually appreciate the menace of the problem at hand…
    Nice piece actually but it goes a long way to reminding the male folks like myself and others out there that whatever u r going through is not a reason why you should turn your spouse/your girl friend into a punching bag…beating a woman cos u want to vent your rage/anger about something that didn’t go well won’t make the problem go away…pick on someone your size if u really need to punch…or buy a boxing sand bag…or turn a segment of your wall into use,i can bet u u will get the same results…a woman is meant to be loved..adored…cherished..protected….cared for…they r the future of our continued existence…a man who as much as lifts a hand on a woman is not fit to b called a man…#theCHANGEstartsWITHus

  14. Sure about getting hates for this nice write up?
    I like the way u supported your point with research….u v read works about it I presume? Shaaaaaaaa….I ain’t hating your work though….I actually like the intelligence it contains

  15. The normal advice is ‘ just endure for the sake of the kids’ but wen u are gone, who thinks abt d kids. Pls b wise.

  16. Can’t hold back my tears.. Nice piece. Men should learn to love their spouse. She same person, you have being chasing for years. Finally she accepted to marry you. What changed? If there’s a problem den sit n have a talk with her! Y use her for a punch bag. Women we just put in our best in out relationship n homes.. Know wen to stop n wen to walk. So that wen finally we do leave, even d underworld will be sorry.

  17. May her soul rest in perfect peace.i didn’t know there was still such a fool family that can allow there daughter to die in hands of a man all in the name of marriage,i blame the lady also she should have pack out of that idiot house before this happen, atleast go somewhere else if her family don’t accept her back, i can’t be stup so low as she was.anyway the allmighty allah will never let us get marry to a heatles man like that her husband.

  18. Women it’s high time we come together and speak with one voice, SAY NO TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. Let stop criticizing anything one who is bold enough to leave, you not understand if you have not been there living with a violent man is the worst thing that can happen to any woman.

  19. what a world of sorrow and pain created by the sons of ada,m for the daughters of evil. oh GOD interven. what is wrong in being a wiman? what is wrong in saying yes I do to a man who says I love you? oh sons of adam, have a re – think,