RITA.E.AJU: I am a woman.!!..So what

RITA.E.AJU: I am a woman.!!..So what


I get into an argument with a man,  he slaps me, I feel the pain, yet they tell me I provoked him. I should have been quiet,  I should have been patient.  I should apologize to him.

I get into an argument with a man,  I slap him,  they tell me I have no respect, no home training. I should have been quiet,  I should have been patient. I should apologize to him.

Because I am a woman,  I don’t have a right to be angry. So, the degree of my innocence is directly proportional to the degree ofmy  silence in the face of oppression and brutality…..

Because I am a woman, my husband cheats on me, I am told to tolerate it to save my marriage. The barbaric and stupid excuse is that ”it is in their nature to cheat,  I should slim down,  dress better, cook better,  pray harder and be more pleasant to him”

I cheat, and I am called a whore, I have committed an abomination, I have no right to look elsewhere for the love and emotional support I lack at home,  I am an irresponsible mother.

So I am sent packing, from the home we both built,  with all my earthly possessions stuffed into a tiny box on my head.  I am henceforth forbidden from seeing my two older children,  I’m lucky to be allowed to go with my little one still suckling on my left breast. Three years later, the little one is tagged a bastard. Now, my new name is “after-three”,  because I am a woman.

He is 28 and runs a company. He’s tagged  wonderful, hardworking,  focused,  career oriented,  successful at a very young age.

I am 28 and I run a company ” Hmmmm, she is not even married, unserious, can not order her priorities right, a hustler,  loves money,  let her go and get a husband oh”

And I wonder if being successful has anything to do with a person’s gender.

Because I am a woman,

I am not allowed to have wits or be a prodigy, I cannot be financially buoyant,  professionally successful or be treated with respect without a man beside me.

Then I am tagged a generous leg opener, “a runs girl”. They never see the possibility that I actually had to go through ups and downs to get to where I am.

Because I am a woman.

A man looses his wife to death and remarries a year after, he did the right thing, he’s being praised and congratulated for moving on, afterall life is for the living.

A woman looses her husband to death and remarries after 4yrs, “ahhh! so early? Are u sure she wasn’t sleeping with that man even when her husband was alive? That was why she killed her husband.  She’s a witch! “  Because she’s a woman.

Because I am a woman, this post will be considered controversial, and everyone will try to correct me.

But don’t forget, that I am a woman and it does not make me less human!!! …..Why is everything like this in Africa, was it our choice, do we even have a law that favours the women folks? Coyed!





  1. Nice words am inspired.
    Because am a woman I should take shits from people around me? No!!! Know yourself and know your worth always hold yourself to a high esteem and a very high standard.
    #say no to domestic violence and abuse.
    I stand for peace. thanks

  2. The most apolling of it all is that cheating is in men nature and therefore can not leave out of your marriage because he cheats yet a woman flirt n it al over the world . what a world we live

  3. we need to stand up and make our voice to be heard, we are not slave,we are not reboot that are to be push around, we human being and we should be treated as one. we are equal

  4. because am a woman,am excepted not to have a say in my home believing you have nothing to contributed among your in-laws, because am a woman I shouldn’t has a personal life,my life must revolted around my husband,because am a woman I should be treated as a second class citizen.