I Got Married 30th December,2016..I Am Confused Now…TheReel Talk

I Got Married 30th December,2016..I Am Confused Now…TheReel Talk

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I need your advice, kindly treat as anonymous

I got married 30th December,2016

I started talking to my husband on the 1st of January 2016, it’s a distance relationship but we spoke all the time, we had our fights and settled.

He’s been married twice now with a daughter from his first marriage. Reason for the first breakup was that she found love in a lady and the second breakup was also a distant relationship so I am his third relationship

I also want a breakup because he’s extremely jealous and always doubting me,he things I’m sleeping around with all men and all women,I try to make him realize that I’m not cheating and he knows that but doesn’t want me around anyone not even my family

At several occasions he had accused me of sleeping with my own father which I found very insulting. I tried to manage situations without family involvement

Recently, he has been taking advice from his female cousin, they have been discussing how they will deal with me, dealing with me by not sending my monthly allowance and also keeping me in Nigeria and not planning to file papers for me to move in with him in Austria

He doesn’t want me to come live with him because he has fears that I will leave or abandon him in Austria, why he has such thoughts in his heart, I really don’t know.

I’m confused now because he is talking to his cousin on how to run his marriage.

I’m emotionally derailed

I need help

Maybe his relationships failed because of his insecurities

He’s tormenting me emotionally.

Should I break up with him because distance isn’t helping issues too…..?

 

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38 COMMENTS

  1. Break up with him now and move on with your life. You’re young and need to focus on building your life. This marriage is already a mess

  2. My dear I will advice you to breakup with him earlier the better. Because since he has started talking to cousin on how to run his marrege. And mind you a jealous husband is very dangerous. Let him not go and strangle to death one day because Jealousy. And another thing u need to no is that jealousy is not love.

  3. He has the right to be jealous but you have a responsibility to prove him wrong. But this distant thing, it will not help both of you. Maybe you are not working. You are dependent on him so he thinks you depend on other men as well. Find something to do and stop waiting for monthly allowance.

  4. I’ll advice you to breakup. If he makes you feel this way despite the distance between you two,imagine how he’ll treat you if you go to Australia to live with him. I fear he’ll totally cut you off from your family and people around. Marriage is supposed to be enjoyed. You shouldn’t have to suffer because of someone else’s insecurities…he accuses you of sleeping with both men and women and even your own dad…that’s a big nonsense. This type of man will still accuse you of sleeping around even when pregnant for him. I doubt he’ll change since he already has 2 failed relationships before now….I fear he’ll only get worse. You deserve your peace of mind and happiness,sis!

  5. My dear the best advice one can give is the one you give to yourself,you know how you feel and how emotionally trouble you are the best decision is to walk out of the marriage quietly and save your soul,he has been in tw different marriages and am very sure these is the same attitudes he was puting in the other marriages that made him not to work out any more,because you can not be married to home and you don’t have a say in you marriage and if he thinks listening to his female cousin is the best decision and planning to turn you to his punching bag that might want to lead to your early grave please run and never look back,you got good thing to do with your life,you owe your your family community society and every body around you a responsibility even your unborn children a responsibility so take a bold step and walk out of that thing called marriage.
    #save a soul today
    Let’s put hands and fight against domestic violence and abuse.
    Thanks

  6. My dear if you really love him I advise you to put your trust in God commit everything to him tell God to take over your marriage, there is nothing too hard for him. My immediate younger sister has the same experience for good 4yrs now. If it is not sister in law today it will be brothers in law, from Abuja to husband village, from husband village to her parents compound but in all this she never give up on God. She passed through many depression,so many suffering so many things. To God be the glory today the husband is back all the way from Germany and they are together. There is nothing too hard for God to do. In your case you were told that are no 3, in my Sis case it is 3yrs to find out as that the guy has married before with a child. My dear use prayer to change the ugly situation, divorce is not the best option. God bless you.

  7. I am more worried about the husband accusing her of sleeping with her own father, I find that really disturbing for any normal man to accuse your own wife of. Please you have to be careful. Also I think he’s most likely cheating on you that’s why he’s not wanting you to join him. Just be careful dear.

  8. Like Ernest said, its like u have shown him too much dependency on him, so hes thinking zigzag!
    Dont let no know one threaten your sanity! You Only Live Once! You never even get child for him and you already going amok, how much more when kids enter!
    Better sit down and ask your self one pertinent ajuju: Do i want to spend the rest of my life with this man? Do i really want to grow old with this person?
    Lemme know when u have the answer to that.
    Ka chi fo.

  9. Pls leave dis marriage is not going to help u,and move on with ur life,he is not man enough to run his home and such a person will always seek advice from his cousin before doing anything for u.U hv more life ahead of u.Pls quit before it get out of hand

  10. I Think, U And Ur Husband Seriously Need 2 Talk. Why Would He Even Trust His Cousin Than U? That’s Disrespectful.

  11. If your husband trusts his cousin more than you, then there is a big problem. Is his cousin married? Does the cousin tell your husband everything about their marriage? My sister, sit your husband down and talk things over. If you don’t reach a favourable conclusion, then I suggest you quit and have your peace.

  12. My dear, the earlier the better o. I think that man is not for you at all.
    The question you would hv asked yourself before agreeing to this marriage is why did his two marriages failed? And how sure are you that you are not going to face the same thing. Well, the mistake has been made, try and leave as soon as possible before he gets you pregnant then it will be more difficult for you. You are still very young.

  13. Dat’s hs thrd relationship,nd u left ur boifrnd coz he’s nt outside d con3,bt u here nw asking fr advice…u’ve made ur choice,or end it nd mark it ur 1st relationship!

  14. marriage aint a relationship that will start nd end when we feel like marriage is a life time relationship. there is really no point if u claim to.b married to a man nd ur nt with him as a couple. When will u both give birth nd rise offsprings? anyways from my point of view i will advise u to.follow ur mind nd put all to God through prayers.

  15. my dear.pls prayer heals all wound.d bible says pray&keep on praying,ask&neva stop asking.he’s d lord of all lnpossibilities.y not trust in him.he will neva fail u.nyt,nyt

  16. First off, u need to understand the psychology of repeated patterns. He is only acting on his previous experiences so to say ‘break up’ is in itself inconclusive. Maybe a talk out about his worries and if it continues, then an evaluation medically. Truth is he needs you more but he is broken.

  17. The Bible says love does not jealous, love finds no error, besides a distant marriage.please it will not work, no three in the roll. Find your level now that the black goat can be seen, your husband will soon locate you. His cousin cannot of course run his home for him. What phsh out the other two will defiantly push you out. S a stitch in time saves nine. Four months of marriage, he said you are sleeping with your father, that’s the hight of insult. My candid advise is that dont even to Austrelia, forget this marriage cos it will yield anything good. God bless you.

  18. for that man 2 accused u of sleeping with ur own father i don’t think he is normal. is he on drugs? pls dear for him 2 jumped out from 2 different marriages he will still drop u some day .so dear run for your dear life , life has no duplicate , that man needs God’s intervention.

  19. What did think when you agreed to marry him? What tales did he tell you? Did you try to sieve his stories? Were you charmed with the idea that he could take you abroad? I don’t think anyone should be careless about a man with two failed marriages. What to do? Try and achieve the goal for which you married him. That’s if you still be in one piece by the time this man is through with you.

  20. My ssta distance relationship is nothing to write home about, pack ur load nd run 4 ur life, my dear u still have time

  21. That’s very mean and calous of you. How did you know that she left her boyfriend for this man? Are you God that knows everything?

  22. That’s very mean and calous of you. How did you know that she left her boyfriend for this man? Or are you God that knows everything?

  23. You got to know when to walk away before its too late. Don’t walk away RUN! You ain’t even married. This is no marriage.

  24. Do u want to leave him as others left him too?no wrong thought.this is not an ordinary issue,u can change him for good those people are waiting for u to go because they knows his wife always leave him,put them to shame prove to them that what God has done no human being can ever change it.wake up in the mide night pray, ask God for help, tell God that before u got married to him he knew what was going to happen after the marriage if the man is not ur husband forever then let him go and bring ur reall husband, but if he is ur husband forever then u ask refuge from him that what and whose ever that is maken him to be like that should stop let u stay with ur husband happily. am sure the almighty the must mercyful will surely answer all of ur prayers.

  25. Well,best Know On To U! May Be He’s In Money,ur Enjoyin Dat’s Why Ur still In His House Waitin For Public Advice.

  26. Do not break up with him, he is acting on past experiences, give him time he will change as 4 his sister when the tables will turn she will say u have use diabolical means on him, every marriage has it trying times.

  27. This marriage is not going to help you.If i were in your shoes i wouldnt ve married someone who had married twice and divorce but it has happened. The
    Best for you is to move on
    Tell him you ve found the love of your life even if you have not found any before he tells you its over between the two ofyou .
    That way he will feel bitter and pains just as he has treated you.
    Pay him with his own coins.

  28. Prayer is the answer everything, Just put ur trust in God and everything will turn around ok and always remember him in prayers

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  30. My sister u run into marriage without knowning the meaning of marriage,u did not prepare for marriage,if u have prepare for marriage ,u whole have known whether the man is prepare for it,preparing for marriage is not ur money,but now u prepare in marriage that is the reason u confuse in ur marriage,marriage is not girlfriend and boyfriend matter,that one no preparation, for ur soul sake,pray to God and call ur husband and talk to him in the fear of God,God will answer u,because if u break up the marriage u will not marry again ,if u are a child of God that is what the Bible says.

  31. The holy spirit always helps in such situations, he doesn’t want you divorced, believe me u r suffering the sins of his past ND it can only take God not to get damagingly hurt at the e d ND still lose your marriage. When u agreed to marrying him you sure knew wat u wer signing for, Cox a man who has had failed marriages isn’t one to just say yes to without weighing the odds and aches involve. But still I dint advice breakup Cox God can ND will still redeem your marriage if only you can just let him take the wheel. It is written in d Bible God is the one who can turn the heart of a king, if he can a king then no other man is set apart. Just let him Firstly work on you then place your man in his hands a d see wonders happen. Will pray for you while you do your part, God help you

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